When I Drive

All that I asked was to find a way out of this God-forsaken town
Where the laws were all made before I was the shade
Of a gleam in my mother's eye.
The dos and the don'ts, the wills and the won'ts, they could only drag me down.
I had to believe that one day, I would leave,
I had to believe I could fly,

And when I sat behind the wheel of my older brother's car
It seemed like something more than just a story.
I said, 'Hey, Rose, see how fast this goes, how fast and how far,
Can you make your way to freedom, can you make your way to glory,
When you drive?'

I was a good girl, and if that's a lie, who would dare to tell the truth?
I knew all the rules, and I played them for fools,
And they never once told me 'no.'
I set out to win, only doubt was a sin -- you can't put a price on youth.
I had to be fast, because nothing can last
When you've got nowhere to go,

And when I sat behind the wheel of my older brother's car
It seemed like life was waiting to get started.
I said, 'Hey Rose, it seems no one knows what kind of girl you are.
Can you make yourself a name before you wind up broken hearted,
Can you drive?'

        And I hit the gas like it held the key to everything
        This little town denied me, every shooting star,
        And I placed my bets upon the road, bet everything on
        Freedom and the promise of tomorrow in
        My older brother's car...

All that I asked was to find a way out before all the doors were closed
Find a way I could run, find my place in the sun,
Find a life I could call my own.
I hit it too fast, didn't need it to last, only wanted them exposed --
I had to break free, this was no life for me,
This was barely a life on loan,

And when I sat behind the wheel of my older brother's car
It seemed like maybe I could reach salvation.
I said, 'Hey Rose, when the west wind blows don't go wishing on a star,
Can you make it to the freeway, can you find a destination,
Can you drive?'

        And I hit the gas like it held the key to everything
        This little town denied me, every shooting star,
        And I placed my bets upon the road, bet everything on
        Freedom and the promise of tomorrow in
        My older brother's car...

All that I asked was to find a way out of this God-forsaken town,
Knew that I couldn't win but I prayed that my sin
Would be paid for by and by.
I did what I could, didn't do any good, and they laid my body down
In the place I denied, God forgive me, I tried,
Only angels get to fly,

But when I sat behind the wheel of my older brother's car
It seemed like I might have a happy ending.
I said, 'Hey Rose, this is what you chose, and choices always scar.
Couldn't make it past the freeway, and it's past time for pretending
You can drive.'
Written on: 2008-10-20. Seanan McGuire